Nicole Kropf

By the time I was 5, I’d lost both of my grandfathers. My Nana remarried and I developed a close relationship with her second husband…who passed away only a short time later. In high school, my same-age cousin commit suicide. In my first year of university, I lost another cousin and an aunt within 2 weeks of one another. I’ve since lost an uncle, my Nana’s third husband, and my Nana. I’m not sharing this for sympathy – I’m sharing this because my youth and young adult years created a sort of culture of loss. I grew up aware that life is unpredictable and really quite short. You cannot look at death without also gaining a new perspective on life. And my experience had shown me that we can never know how much time we will have with those we love.

I once heard someone say that no relationship is 50/50 – rather in every relationship there is someone who cares more and who invests more. This resonated with me so deeply because I’ve often felt this tension in my relationships.  I now wonder if maybe its because I’ve become so intimately aware of how every person I love could one day be someone I’ve lost. Maybe my culture of loss has created in me a thirst to hang on more tightly to those I love.

We all know the cliches – life is short, there is no guarantee of tomorrow, hold things loosely and people close. But how many of us actually live as if they are true? Too often, we treat the future as a promise rather than a hope. And when we live like that – when we anticipate that people will always be there, we tend to forget their value.

I know your value.

When I connect with someone, I want to jump right in. I know that life can change or end in the blink of an eye. I want to soak up my people now – while I have the chance. I want to kick fear to the curb and tear down walls and know my people to their very core. And truthfully, I want to be known and loved in this same way.

Frequently, I feel like I exist as a consolation prize in life – like I’m  a second-choice kind of person. This feeling motivates me to treat those whom I love as though they are the most prized people on the planet. I try to show my people how much I care. I try to speak my feelings even when it’s scary. I never want my friends and family to feel like they are the consolation prizes in my life. I want them to know – without doubt- that I treasure them.

My friends, I want you to think of the people in your life. I want you to really consider what it would be like if they weren’t here tomorrow. If you feel sick to your stomach, if you can’t breathe, if it feels like your heart is squeezed tight at the thought of that loss, then maybe it’s time you let love lead a little more. Maybe it’s time you make them a prized piece of your life and not just a consolation prize. Maybe it’s time that you kick loose all of the reasons that are holding you back from truly embracing that relationship and you just go for it. We waste so much time on the things that don’t matter.

If I know anything at all, it’s that the people around us are the only things of true value in this life. Love is the only worthy investment. Letting people in is always scary – the risk of being hurt is very real. I get that. I’ve been hurt. But the reward of seeing someone straight through to their soul, the thrill of finding that even when all the pomp and pretense is stripped away you have found a common ground, well – that makes it all worthwhile. To love and be loved (as we bare our naked soul) is really all any of us want.

If you’re going to make some goals for the year ahead, how about striving to let love overcome fear? How about being more open and honest with how you feel about your people? Maybe ask yourself what you can do to make your loved ones feel like prized treasures. Maybe embrace that connection you feel, rather than running from it.

Because as we all know…life is rather short.

And for what it’s worth, this little soul thinks you are pretty special.